Mannaz, Gebo, Inguz
This is definitely going to be a week a deep introspection for nearly all. The focus of our energy is going to be turned inward, to look back at the paths we have chosen and really see how and when we chose each turn that led us here. This can be a brutal revelation for some, with guilt and anger at some of the choices made. Guilt at realizing how we may have hurt others and the things we did to block ourselves will become abundantly clear the next few days.
Once the full weight of how it all really went down hits, take a deep breath and let it go. It was all part of the process of getting you here. There are some hard and uncomfortable lessons that we need to teach ourselves and some of us are a bit more stubborn than others and need things to be a bit more intense in order to learn. So find what it is you learned, thank yourself for the lesson, and forgive yourself for the extra BS you used to get you here. And then say to yourself “I know how to learn my lessons without causing extra pain and drama”
There will also be a huge desire to get away from others a bit this week, especially with all the old resentments coming up all over the place. Your unwillingness to work things out with others could lead to more hurt feelings, so fight your need to hide yourself away and spend time talking things out with your bestie.
Now that you can see the path behind you clearly- it is time to choose where you will go next. All of the choices ahead of you are yours to make. It can feel a bit scary for some to realize that this life is one we chose and that we get to choose how the rest of the story goes. Now it the best time to change your direction and put yourself on a path more in line with what you really want. Or just to make a few simple adjustments to refine your path. It is with a full understanding of your past that you can remake your future.
Has everyone recovered from New Years’ Eve? Now that the crazy holiday season and the end of the Mayan calendar shift have passed, we are at a place of now what? Now we start on a new journey. 2012 was all about letting go. Letting go of jobs, relationships, old ways of thinking, bad memories, etc. I let go of the theatre company I started in my backyard, the job I had for over six years, and my home. Starting over in a new city and a growing group of new friends I am learning to be okay with non-activity, silence, and empty space. My life before Oakland was always busy; it took a full year to slow down enough to get to a space where I could write again. Until the start of 2012 I had full time job and a theatre company that took up every second of my free time. I even dreamed about the shows we did. It was wonderfully creative and rewarding but it kept me from attaining the goals I had set for myself when I moved to San Diego, to be a full time energy healer. Add painting and volunteer work on top of that and I had no room left in my schedule to really to the work necessary for my spiritual development.
So after the valentines’ day show I stopped doing anything except board meetings. I built a meditation room in my house, the garage got cleaned up and I almost started painting again. I also sold my car, a great relief because I was always on call to fix lights and things down at the church, as a volunteer. It felt weird at first but it was a very growing experience to step away and let people handle their own problems, or walk them through it on the phone instead of rushing over to push the button or flip a switch. Little by little I worked on clearing away everything that did not belong and though long and hard about my next move, I knew that I had learned everything that I had come to San Diego to learn.
I knew from the moment I first saw the city from BART that the Bay Area is where my next stage of development would happen. And a lot has happened so far. The move cost me a job that I loved but that took all my energy. It was not the greatest in the world and honestly I was using it as a crutch to not try on build my energy healing practice. It was easy to not work to find new clients because I was making good money and living comfortably. So now, I have a quite warehouse with lots of room to paint and create, no more rushing around, and the ability to create a new future. The practice is growing slowly, on new client at a time, but the more I learn to share myself, the faster it will grow. So there will be more posts about my journey, my dreams and the things I have seen. Cheers.
To each his own. Today is a day to take care of the things you need to do for yourself. It is easy to get caught up in helping other people, it can be rewarding and fun but be careful how much you give because you want to versus because you feel you should, or that it is expected of you. It is okay to say no to things that stretch you too thin or take you away from your true path. And don’t feel obliged to explain yourself either, people who need detailed explanations of why you will or won’t do something are just looking for control. On the other hand, so you demand too much of other people? Do you demand a long winded explanation when someone turns you down? Whichever side you are on, it is time to own up to your boundaries and release and extra burdens that you have added to those around you.
Right now you are not seeing the positive side of things. Yes, yesterday’s rune was rough on some but that doesn’t mean that it is time to stay stuck in the mud. There are thing to be grateful for, though you may have to start small to get the ball rolling. Is it sunny? Did anything make you laugh today? Who out there loves you? It is time to count your blessings and be grateful for the things you do have instead of worrying about the things you don’t have yet or will never have. Showing appreciation for what you have draws more of the same to you. Want more joy? Be thankful for the joy you have. It really does work. When I was waitressing and I some one left me a less than amazing tip I would jump up and down with excitement. It seems silly and the other girls never understood it, but after that the tips always got better.
It is so easy to get very angry and frustrated when things start going wonky. Why is this happening now? Really universe? Did I really just manifest this pile of dung? Yep, you sure did. You can shake your fists at the sky all you want, but that is not where this is coming from. Right now a big disruption and shaking up of events is exactly what is needed internally. When you are too cosy and comfortable and settled into the way things are, you can’t see what things could be improved.
I always find this rune to be a good sign, things are changing, there is an awakening happening. It may not be pretty, it may not make sense right now. But you have the strength to make through this and once you get through the tunnel and look back, you will be able to see the big picture. Trust yourself, there is a very good reason you created the current chaos, it will lead to better things.
Right now you are empty. Not in the sad lonely way, more like you are watching the train depart with all of your unnecessary baggage on it. The moon is just visible through the clouds and the steam of the engine as you tilt up the collar of your coat and turn your back on the way things used to be. This emptiness is an unburdening and holds the potential of everything and anything. Yes, you could choose to put things back the way they were, or you can take this chance at a do-over and make your dreams come true. The choice is yours.
We must be very very quiet, as if hunting bunny rabbits. By standing still for a moment, feeling the sun’s energy, and listening to the wind you will find the wholeness that you are seeking is already right there inside you, just waiting for you to notice it. It may be a little shy, but can claimed by being very serene. Choose compassion today, for yourself and for those you meet.
Othila, because Sundays are about family
It is time to accept the gifts that were chosen for you long ago. In order to do so you first must be a peace with your biological family. You chose them for the challenges and blessings that being with them brought you. Have you met the challenges you set for yourself? Are you accepting the blessings your family has to offer? You may have to shead old beliefs and opinions to make way for a new relationship with someone you have known your whole life. Once you are at peace with your parents and siblings, you are free to accept your spiritual inheritance and find your spiritual family.
“I think it’s about forgiveness…”
The song has been stuck in my head since I pulled the rune out, and it is what today’s rune is about. Bouncing off yesterday’s rune, now that you have faced yourself, it is time to forgive yourself. There have been many times before when you were looking at many options, and maybe you don’t feel you choose wisely. You can do so right now.
Stop looking around for someone else to blame. The answers are all within you. The things that you see in others as obstacles are simply reflections of what you need to work on in yourself. If things are going well andthere are no obstacles, then this is a caution to be humble and not hold yourself as superior by putting others down.