I love teaching The Dig Deeper class and teaching people how to dig (and be dug on) because it can be so profound. One of the things I always tell my students and clients is to not worry about remembering the bottom belief after a session descended. Instead we focus on the new energy that is being brought in. Oftentimes when I receive sessions I forget the bottom belief as soon as we come out of the session, unless it’s really really funny.
For those new to ThetaHealing- digging is the process of going into the subconscious to find out what one believed as a child, or what the ancestors believed that is currently causing an issue. Often we resist facing these because some beliefs are developed as a reaction to trauma, but mostly because the loudest ones are teaching us the biggest lessons. It takes practice, patience, and the clearing of trauma to get good at finding these amazing lessons.
I recently had a really really funny, on the nose pseudo ironic session. We were working through some annoyance I had at an ex coach who had a fairly creative interpretation of the truth. For example: This person presented to me and others that we would be featured speakers at a particular event. So I went around telling people that I was going to speak at this event, but because that was what I was told by this person I trusted. As we got closer to the event I was wondering why we weren’t working on my topic or other logistics. Then the next layer came out, that it would just be 10 minutes, so I reset my expectations since I was already committed to going to the event.The truth of that was that everyone had the same chance of speaking for 3 minutes after dinner. Not quite a featured speaker role compared to the other times I’ve been a featured speaker at events. Grabbing the microphone anytime one offered a different energy than being invited. And there were several others but I’m not gonna list all of them here.
And really the former coach is just another in a long line of sporadically working with, or dating men who had that same creative interpretation of truth. They haven’t all been dishonest – but it is a significant pattern. I married a compulsive liar. He would make up stories about the most ridiculous things. I didn’t understand his need to obfuscate and it was hard for me to keep track of his lies. He also lied about some very very important things and that is why we are no longer together.
This is not to say that every man I’ve dated or worked with is a liar. I seem to draw in quite a lot of them and they aren’t just random people who are liars. It’s always the ones who also have some specialized skill. Perfect example: the guys I hired to build my website mislead me about what they could do for me.
So I’m working with this friend and we finally get down to the root of it. And of course it goes back to my dad ( no surprise there- we often find the bottom belief when we bring up memories of Mother, Father, or God). So as a very young child as early as the age of 5 I knew that my dad was full of shit. He would say things like “The sky is green and the grass is blue and they just reflect off each other.” Anytime you asked him any question about himself or anything personal he would deflect. He would tell stories about putting cats on pizza when he owned the garage. We never really knew who he was or what he believed because he would always joke or be ridiculous. Even when he was getting close to leaving this realm he couldn’t even be honest with us about his condition.
But what he was amazing at was teaching us all about woodworking, history, home repair, pouring cement, etc… He was so innovative and great when it came to that. I knew I could go to him and ask him “How do I do this thing?” And in those moments he would actually tell me the truth. But literally everything else that came out of his mouth I couldn’t trust. So as a little girl I decided. “Men lie and they can only be trusted to give instruction in their area of expertise and everything else that they said was false.” In believing this and taking this on is a fact, of course I’m gonna call into my life a series of guys both in relationships and professional life who may be good at their job but who also have a unique relationship to the truth. (I also had the opposite belief that men can tell the truth and some can be trusted- but dual beliefs are a topic for another day)
So of course we cleared this, after I had a good laugh about how my ex couch was so much like may dad in so many ways, and even after doing a ton of work we can still learn more, clear more, continue to keep growing.
One of the big takeaways from this was acknowledging how much it helped me really develop a great relationship with the law of truth. And how much it helped me solidify my concept of integrity. There were so many amazing virtues that we found in the session, and when it comes down to it – that is where the healing really happens. First we heal by recognizing the pattern. Then we see the lessons. Once we embody the Virtues learned – then we can truly let go and shift the pattern for good.
Here is a bonus session from today!
So I’ve also cleared a lot of things around feeling supported. I’ve attacked it from several different angles because I realized from the way that I ran my theater company that I wasn’t allowing enough people to help me. With the things I’m currently going through; having health problems last spring and then looking towards expanding my family and my business. I recognize I’ve just been generally feeling overwhelmed the last few years. I have done some clearing on the overwhelmed and its roots so today we looked at the “why” of it. Any time a feeling comes back after we worked on it- I love to go deeper with exploring the why. All the work we did before on overwhelm was perfect and needed to be cleared, so this is just the next step.
The root of this overwhelm was feeling that I was unsupported in my life. Now this is a false perception because I do have the most amazing partner who will do anything I ask of him within reason. But I was carrying a story of being resentful of having to ask and instead expecting him to be super psychic and just take care of it. And so that is how my beautiful Virgo brain justifies my negative belief sometimes.
But the truth is in my life I don’t know how to allow support or to really feel what it feels like. But below that is “I can not trust support”. That comes from the dynamic of my sisters and I. There were 3 of us and the way we related to each other was traumatic enough that I never wanted to have 3 children because I never wanted anyone else to go through the dynamic that I lived through.
It is an understatement to say that we often didn’t get along. It was always two against one. From day-to-day it would shift which two were picking on which one, the only constant being that my older sis was always on the bullying side (I am the middle one). So even though you had the support and love of your sister on one day. The very next day it could turn around and all of a sudden you are the one who’s on the outside . And it was a day by day back-and-forth of “I am loved” or “I am bullied.” (This also was part of me accepting as a child that “Love = accepting abuse”) And even when there was love or support or kindness there was this underlying “how long is it going to last? How long before she turns on me again and I am the sister who was left out.” Which left me with the belief that “It is unsafe to accept support” and that “Support is temporary and comes with strings”
That was so magical to clear today!! I could feel my body shift and see my future change right before my eyes as it opened up so many possibilities.
And with that I do want to address a question I get a lot, or a statement “But I already worked on it!!” Yes, I have done work on being supported, enough to get a little bit here and there. And yes I worked on the overwhelm directly. It was all great work. But we are wonderfully complicated beings- and we work on these things in layers. I have been able to receive support from friends, clients, associates – so it is not like I feel totally unsupported all the time. Very rarely do we find that the bottom belief is something we feel all the time. We just need to have felt it for a moment for it to lodge itself in our subconscious. It is also important to know that we learn things in levels. In my previous sessions we cleared and upgraded my ability to be supported to one point. Then I went about life enjoying that new level. Then something comes up and we have the opportunity to upgrade it again. There are so many levels of support out there. Just like there are many levels of whatever big concept you are working through right now. So keep looking at it from different angles, with fresh eyes, and know that it is okay to work on it again. Each time you come back to a moment or to a concept ask yourself “What did I not see or explore last time?” Keep doing down all the different paths until you lift your subconscious up to the highest and best version of your current big concept.
***I feel fine sharing these things about myself, but hold sacred anything said to me by clients and students.