This is definitely going to be a week a deep introspection for nearly all. The focus of our energy is going to be turned inward, to look back at the paths we have chosen and really see how and when we chose each turn that led us here. This can be a brutal revelation for some, with guilt and anger at some of the choices made. Guilt at realizing how we may have hurt others and the things we did to block ourselves will become abundantly clear the next few days.
Once the full weight of how it all really went down hits, take a deep breath and let it go. It was all part of the process of getting you here. There are some hard and uncomfortable lessons that we need to teach ourselves and some of us are a bit more stubborn than others and need things to be a bit more intense in order to learn. So find what it is you learned, thank yourself for the lesson, and forgive yourself for the extra BS you used to get you here. And then say to yourself “I know how to learn my lessons without causing extra pain and drama”
There will also be a huge desire to get away from others a bit this week, especially with all the old resentments coming up all over the place. Your unwillingness to work things out with others could lead to more hurt feelings, so fight your need to hide yourself away and spend time talking things out with your bestie.
Now that you can see the path behind you clearly- it is time to choose where you will go next. All of the choices ahead of you are yours to make. It can feel a bit scary for some to realize that this life is one we chose and that we get to choose how the rest of the story goes. Now it the best time to change your direction and put yourself on a path more in line with what you really want. Or just to make a few simple adjustments to refine your path. It is with a full understanding of your past that you can remake your future.
Oh, what a relief from last week! So you made it. Not it is time to walk away from the bullshit. There will be a need release a bit of grief, the beginning of the week will be about purging at the same time you will be more open and everything will be a bit sensitive this week. Monday may be a good day to watch a sad movie and curl up with some popcorn, defiantly not a good day to party. Wednesday on will be a bit better for socializing. Stay focused on the now. Keep checking in with how you feel now, and what the very next step is. There is a lot of energy swirling around this week as you are still rebuilding and the extra emotional bandwidth is going to take a bit of getting used to. Stay focused on the things that you rock out at – no need to challenge yourself at this point. It’s okay to go for the easy victories are you are just finding your footing and opening yourself up to some amazing surprises down the road.
Memorial day has never been about grilling or drinking for me. Every year we would go as a family to the cemetery where there would be a 21 gun salute, Marvin played Taps (he was my next door neighbor and and former army bugler who taught me how to play it too), In Flanders’s Field was read recited, and then someone sang “Where have the the Flowers gone”. My sisters and I would gather up the empty shells afterwards to use in crafts. The importance of the event was evident but it wasn’t till much later in life did I realize the gravity of what we were doing there at the cemetery, and I am grateful that I had to wait till I was an adult to really understand how horrible war is, and how much of a rippling affect it can have. So many you young men have gone away never to return and it has been going on for for too long. I once had an extremely upsetting experience in a cemetery on the south side of Columbus, Ohio. It was for prisoners of war from the Civil War who had died in captivity. I could feel the fear and distress of dying so far away from home from every grave I passed. Anyway, I digress.
Death in a war is particularly shocking. The chaos on confusion only adds to the cacophony of emotions that abound in a violent death. Genocide is even more perplexing to the soul- being killed just for existing, and we have had far too many of those if the last century- 16 according to wiki.
Theses are the things I think about on Memorial Day.
And for the past month, in every healing I have done, clients’ ancestors have been coming forward and asking me foe healing. Some are very specific about what they want, either way- I am answering their call.
So this year I am putting together a special event with the Light Sisterz. We will be gathering together to allow our ancestors who died because of war to come forward and receive trauma release and healing. We will also be working with anyone affected by war- those left behind, civilian causalities, the wounded, and anyone else.
The Light Sisterz will open the session with a meditation to set the tone. Each participant will get one on one time with on of the healers to receive healing for their ancestors and and you the participant. At the end we will circle up and join hands to do a group healing lead by yours truly, where we will ask for the ancestors of our world leaders to come forward, if they choose, and any victims of genocide not related to anyone present who need peace are also welcome to come forward for a release. There will be some meditative activities while you are waiting for your personal session.
The event will be at 1-3:30 pm on Sunday May 28th at The Center SF in San Francisco. Tickets are $30 each and you get them here. Seating is limited in order to make sure each person can have individual attention. It’s going to be an intense and freeing day.
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
Give yourself a lot of space today. Most people’s energy will be rather pulled in as we each focus on our own wholeness. For some this will be a new and foreign feeling, but the universe is sending us each a little sample so you can know and grow it.
It can sometimes be easier to have compassion for others than for ourselves. So for today begin to explore what it feels like to have love and compassion for yourself. How much more energy will you have when you stop beating yourself up about not being perfect. When in fact you already are perfect, it is just very difficult for many of us to see it, and sometimes even more difficult to accept, but you can get here. It starts by taking a deep breath and allowing yourself to just be without judging or trying to improve anything.
Just remember that anyone new that you bring into your life today will be at comparable level of compassion and self-love as you.
Hello boundary issues! If you haven’t already been actively working on creating safe boundaries for yourself (and the benefit of those around you) then your buttons are going to be pushed a bit today. If you have good boundaries or have been actively working on them, they will be tested a bit. This is just a check as most of us really need some time to ourselves right no.
In fact, the other challenge facing all you is the lack of acceptance of your own innocence. For many the attitude looks likes “waiting for the other shoe to drop” or “it can’t be that easy”. Quit creating more shoes and yes, it is possible for life to blessed and easy. It starts with you accepting that is possible for you good and innocent. You may call it being jaded or realistic, throwing extra guilt on yourself for things you haven’t done yet creates openings in your energy and you guessed it, motivates others to push your boundaries. But if you keep calling punishment down on yourself, the universe will provide it.
A quiet mediation is defiantly called for today, and again tomorrow. It is a time to focus on training your body to know what it feels like to have serenity and joy in your life. From there reconnect with your youngest memory of yourself, feel how free and safe you felt then. If, those feelings were not present for you at that time, give them to that version of yourself. Let that version of you know what it feels like to not need forgiveness.
Things are ready to turn around, you just have to be willing to accept the changes. If you can open yourself up to a whole new way of being and really let go of the past you will be able to see the new things that are coming. But, you must let go of your old ways of thinking. If you continue to live as you have been the future that has been prepared for you will slip into a fog. So let it all go and be open to finally grasping your destiny.
Valentine’s Day is coming we are about to be inundated with advertisements and reminders that we should all be happy and in love and on and on. The expectations can be a bit much if your relationship is not as lovely as you would like it to be or if you are single and distressed about the importance being placed on being with someone. There is an opportunity to do energy work on either situation. For couples, I offer and energetic reboot. For singles a clearing away of the past to keep it there and a resetting of belief structures to lead you to where you would like to be relationship wise.
The crux of this work is with energy cords. They connect us to everyone that we love, hate, or have any kind of relationship with. There are 3 main types of cords: chakra cords, memory cords, and “vampire cords”. I have simplified the drawings a bit. The chakra cords connect one on one with the other person when the relationship is healthy. When they are in balance the cords themselves are about as think as your wrists and they glow in the color of the chakras they are connecting. It would look like this:
Sometimes, the cords get connected all wrong like an old telephone system. In this example of one couple, all but two are connected correctly. The first person’s throat communicates with the second’s spleen and the second’s brow goes to the first person’s throat. So the lines of communication are a little mixed up. They have a fairly solid relationship but there are flare ups around assuming that the other person already knows what two is thinking and the first person responds in the context of the current project or with touch. The other thing to look at here is how think are the cords and do they glow evenly?
Every relationship goes through its ups and downs and sometimes you get bagged down with all of the history. You can look at someone every day and not see that they have changed in some way because you see the way they were yesterday or a few weeks ago, unless you are really paying attention. This is just your brain filling in the information for you like viewing a web page offline. The information keeps going back and forth though the memory cords. Releasing them does not wipe away the memories, it just puts them in the past so that you can live in the present. It can look a little confusing in the drawing, and it is. The memory cords are very thin, averaging the thickness of a pencil but they can be much smaller. The color varies and they can originate in any and every part of the body, as memories are stored everywhere. They carry small amounts of energy back and forth to the past always connecting you. Feeding these cords tricks your energy into thinking that you want to have more of what you are remembering, so if you spend a lot of time remembering the bad things that happened and what kind of partner you do not want to have because so and so was so awful and this is why; you will pull those memories into you future and make them your goal.
Vampire cords, though that is just what I call them, are big hoary and moldy overgrown cords that draw energy from one person to another. They usually are attached to the person being drained in the back and into a chakra of the person pulling the energy. These happen when arguments are left open and people refuse to forgive each other. That grudge that you are holding against say, your dad, for when you were a kid, keeps cords like this active and let another person drain your energy.
On a side note, some people like to collect extra chakras. The most common is the multiple heart chakra which happens you someone takes responsibility for another person’s happiness. It comes from a good place but does not belong and it will wear down a person eventually. It also is a way to keep you anchored in the past if you still carry an extra chakra for someone you no longer speak to.
So, if you combine all the things mentioned above, many couples actually look like this:
To reboot, first I remove any vampire cords. Then release the memory cords and extra heart chakras from the people in both partners’ pasts. Then the memory cords between the couple are released. Last, I very gently disconnect the chakra cords and hold each person in their own space just for a moment and then allow the cords to reconnect correctly. This basically clears away all the clutter in the back of your head and you can see and communicate with your partner like when you first met them. For most people this helps reinvigorate the relationship. It has helped many couples come back from years of fighting to help the find a way to live in joy. There is always the chance, that when you see someone clearly again for the first time that you see that you have outgrown each other. Either way, it opens the channels of communication so you can move forward. This can be done remotely with permissions to enter your space, best done in person with both people together and then one at a time, so we can clear up the past for each and couples’ energy.
So after all that is done you will look like this:
Not to worry singles, there is a method for you too. It is best done in person or over the phone. I clear away all of the vampire and memory cords and also look at who they are attached to and what those people represent. Then we move onto belief work and look for statements like “I don’t deserve love, the right person does not exist, I am unworthy of love, I will never find someone who truly understands me”. Or other belief that you hold relating to relationships. This work is a bit more intense and deals a lot with letting go of the past to keep it out of your future, and can be very liberating. There is also usually homework involved. This does not mean that you will find the right person the next day necessarily, simply open your energy to help guide the right person to you. If you are putting out into the universe that you will never find someone then you won’t.
Shame is most often found in the root chakra. The root chakra is where all of our impulses for fighting, eating and sex live. Naturally the things we feel most ashamed of are things like eating too much, being aggressive to people that we should have been kind to, and the mistakes and bad decisions around sex partners. Shame also acts like a bad cold. When one person behaves toward another based on their shame, the damage done to the second can lead to more. It is a nasty cycle, but it can be stopped at any time. We are going to deal with a few different levels of intensity on this topic today.
It is time to let the sun dissolve the clouds that have been hanging over you. The cloud is the shame around how you see the world and the feeling you have. How long have you believed that you were supposed to act and feel certain way because that is what you were told? Those old beliefs cause you to doubt your own feelings and hide your true self. Think back to the times as a kid when you were told how to feel by your church, your parents or the other kids around you. Do those opinions still hold weight now that you are an adult? The most dangerous word in this arena is “should”. The shame of not being worthy comes from believing everything other people told you about yourself instead of what you know to be true about yourself. You know yourself better than anyone, so let the lies go.
Then there are those of us who hold shame in our past behavior. Maybe you used to beat up the other kids in the neighborhood and how you can see the pain you caused. Kids can be very mean in junior high and high school and lash out at others out of fear and their own shame. So if you were one of the mean kids, think back to what you were really feeling when you were name calling. Let the shame that led you to shame others go. Forgive yourself and hopefully the ones you bullied will release the shame they may have picked up from your actions.
Shame also rears its ugly head after we made bad decisions in the romantic arena. Mistakes here easily lead to shame and regret. You may have given in too easily, or you may have pushed someone too far. You may have broken a few hearts that didn’t deserve it, or lashed out after having your own broken. The root of much of this type of shame comes from not communicating what you want and how you feel with the person you are with. Are you really hearing the other person when you spend all your time being afraid to say what you mean? Know that all of your emotions are valid.
And here is where it gets really ugly. Traumatic childhood, abuse, molestation, and rape all cause major amounts of shame to live in not just the root, but often most of the chakras. These cases are a bit more than can be dealt with in just a simple blog, because of the complexity of emotions and the layers of beliefs that are created, but we will touch on the shame aspect. When these things happen, especially at a young age the decision is made that you are deserve this possible because you are evil, unworthy, or unlovable. This type of deep rooted shame lives in the background and throws a taint on the rest of your emotions and you can start to become ashamed of the positive emotions you feel. That you do not deserve to fell joy, love, or hope; that you do not deserve to accept compassion or receive honesty. Reality gets skewed and it is like you like in an emotional bizzaro world. There is a way out, but it takes a time and trust. The keystone is shame that comes from believe that you deserved it. Loosen that and the other emotions can start to heal. Also know that there is someone out there who is willing to listen. Getting the story out and knowing that you are being heard and not judged or blamed releases the hold the memories have on you.
In addition to my runes and cards I am also a Theta energy healer and have a lot of fun with it. While I can look at a person’s chakras and gain a lot of information just through the color, intensity and clarity, I have found a way to gain a different insight. Most of my work involves removing trapped negative emotions from the chakras and they usually make themselves known pretty quickly when I am doing Theta. This is a fun way to combine the two modalities and help the person see what is going on inside. It also helps illuminate how one belief can cause a domino effect and can help negative beliefs reinforce each other. We don’t just believe something on one level, the belief gets passed around and altered and strengthened. Which is why it is important to find and clear out the negative beliefs, so you can stop making up stories about yourself and the world around you.
I drew two lines of runes from the top chakra down for this imaginary man, but will read them from the bottom up. The right hand column is the emotions and the left hand column is the topic it deals with. I could write an essay on each of the pairing but it will keep it very simplified. This is also a very generalized example. Here is the sample I drew:
So, this person is holding shame in the root chakra and it is related to how he sees himself as man. He does not feel that he is behaving in the way his definition of a man should. Is he using his strength to be a bully or to support people who are weaker? To help this person I would first release the shame, and then give him access to the definition true strength.
The second chakra shows to me that he does not believe that god loves him. Ouch! This can be a biggie and takes belief work in theta to clear up. But finding a belief like this also helps clear up many of the other beliefs that stem from it.
Not surprisingly the third charka is showing that his faith has recently been shaken by a seemingly random event. It is trying to reinforce the belief of the charka below by saying “Yes, you did say that I am not loved and this proved it!”
Not to despair, the heart chakra is pretty solid in the wisdom that can be gained when joy is lost.
The throat chakra, though, seems to think that its prayers are not being answered. Again, reinforcing the second chakra’s belief.
And then we get to the third eye which is saying that he has waited and waited and waited and has not seen the signal. His patience is running thin and no wonder when he is in a crisis of faith.
The crown chakra shows us that he has denied all progress with his connection to the divine. Though there has been progress, the signal has been sent and the prayers will be answered and there is a reason for the randomness in his life. It all comes back to the belief that he is not worthy of God’s love because he is not “man” enough.
So from the first two we find the root of it all, but it is important to look at all of them because when you are conscious of your issues and where they stem from the healing has a greater impact. I could just deal with the issues of masculinity and stop there. But knowing how it impacted his faith in god and tracing the effects it had helps him let go of all of it. Once the issues are clear, then we can begin the belief work in Theta.
My Mom called the other day with a lead on another ghost. Her hairdresser’s dog Barkley had been getting very agitated at something in the house. It was not every day and they checked for animals or anything else that could be unsettling him. The lady said that if it was indeed a ghost, he was welcome there as long as he stopped upsetting the dog. I took a look around and sure enough, it was a wandering spirit who called himself Harold. He had been a traveling salesman and liked to check in on some of the spot along his old route. He had a few places in the area he liked to visit, but never with any ill will to the humans there. Harold never did like dogs. He eventually agreed to stop irritating Barkley and we left it at that.
But it reminded me of another ghost that I had worked with about a year ago. A friend in Arizona told me about a part of her property that her dogs avoided, as did she but was not sure why. I found a woman buried there in an unmarked grave. She was terrified to leave because if she did, he could be waiting. Years had passed since her death and she was still afraid of her husband. He was controlling, jealous, and abusive. They lived outside of town on a secluded ranch with just a few hands to help with the work. She had left her family behind to be with him, as he was, of course, charming at first. She was at first devoted to him, first out of love and then out of fear. He accused her of making eyes at every man he saw near her.
He was convinced that he could never have children. When she got pregnant he assumed that it was someone else’s child. Between her religious convictions and fear of him, she never would have done such a thing. I worked with her for a while, but there was another soul that wanted to chime in.
I was approached by a very large and sad dog. He was very good at keeping the ranch safe and chasing away the other animals and had obeyed every command his master gave him. Even the night master got him would up and excited and had him attack someone. They walked into the field where someone was crying. The name and the woman started arguing. Master gave the command to attack and he did. The master buried the nice lady and told everyone that she had gone back to see her family for a while. The dog’s guilt for killing the lady kept him there.
The lady knew it wasn’t the dog’s fault and she finally had the opportunity to tell him. A few wags of his tail and he left for good. The lady left a little while later, once she knew that her husband could no longer harm her.