Othila
You have some awesome gifts coming your way. The catch is that you first have to make room for them. The memories of the events that shaped you and made you into the person you are now no longer serve you. It is time to say thanks for making me stronger, and let the grief go. By letting go of the grief you are not lessening the lessons you learned, rather you are honoring those lessons by learning to live with the benefits and not the pain. For some it can be hard because the pain you experienced in past is part of your self-identity. But every time you go back and identify with the event you give it more power over you. The longer you hold onto the past and try to squash it, the more likely a similar situation will occur. Stop feeding your past, and you can claim your future